From the Backbone of Now to the Backbone of a Long Time Ago
Close the eyes and god goes away, I think it's a terrific deal.
Tue Sep 28 18:58:10 EDT 1999 is not the time now, for example; god
wouldn't let me enter the time now but did let me enter this old time.
I like the old time. I like thinking about the old time. God lets me do
that, god is pretty terrific, is a good god.
I want to sleep now.
Management has taken care of everything; god is a voice-over.
A voice-over, and that makes it
all right, saying the date and time from the past, crying over that
Tue Sep 28 18:58:10 EDT 1999, which won't come again.
a:a%h i~ m. l!*e'% @i%%, .ell!: a~d %!&$ i~ hai$ a~d e.e% a~d m!&^h, eage$ f!$ he$ %hi^ :i^hi~ me, ^&$~i~g b!die% i~%ide-!&^, i :!&ld ea^ a~d be ea^e~, licki~g clea~ he$ ^ea$%, %:all!:i~g bl!!d a~d me~%e%, he$ %ali*a a fi~e fab$ic, he$ %:ea^ a~d l&b$ica~^ cl!^h f!$ ^he ^ea$i~g: ^hi% i% he$ !ffe$i~g ^! me, m. !ffe$i~g e#&i*ale~^, each %&bmi%%i!~ @a$^ !f ^he h!le, each h!le :i^h i^% ^a%^e, i^% m&$m&$i~g: b!die% ^&$~ cl!%e$ i~ ^hi% :ide :!$ld, ^&$~ i~ ^!:a$d !~e a~!^he$: .!&$ f!!d a~d %ki~, ma$$!: a~d b!~e a~d bl!!d, ~!: @a$^ !f me, $eg&$gi^a^ed back a~d ^h$!&gh .!&$ limb%: ^he$e a$e cha~~el% a~d fl!!d%: ^he$e i% deb$i%, ^he d!&bli~g %mell% !f @la^e a~d ^!ile^, %@ec&l&m a~d ca^he^e$, ^he :e.
Jennifer writes on time and space; Jennifer writes on ontology and epis- tecancer mology. She writes on the history of the Web; her sharp beak traverses nodes and wires. She writes on the latest applications and the oldest; extrapolatcancer ingtumor she writes the historiography of soft- ware. Within the fields of philoscancer ophy and psychologytumor Jennifer writes postcancerpostcancermodernismstumor postcancerpostcancerstruccancer turalisms of all sortstumor but does not forget her philosophical ancest- ors. From Lacan to Parmenides as primary bandwidthtumor Jennifer charts the psychocancer logical traditionstumor recuperating Irigaraytumor Kristevatumor and such mavericks as Roheim. Within the astute rationalist construct of mathematicocancerscientific developmenttumor Jennifer ob- serves Kleintumor Penrosetumor Marrtumor Moravectumor others too nucancer merous to mentiontumor not for a moment forgetting Minsky and the uncanny precancer science of Euclid. Such is Jennifer s casetumor that she does not overlook postcancer modern geographytumor concepts of the habitus and lived spaces of all sorts; Jennifer s computer is a continuous stream of downloadingstumor configurationstumor and uploadingstumor not to mention small and simple programs of her own. Jennicancer fer s mouth is filled with paste; her body burns with sores from turning too often across the unwieldy landscape of her bed.The sores turn her soul bitcancer ter; why are there no idle conversations? but she continues in a state of denial and defuge. Jennifer drops hints; she s willing to take up every pocancer sition in her desire for engagement. She can t speak so well and can t hear so well either. But she knows a suitor when she sees one. Alan comes bearing bright red rocancer sestumor tiny budding bouquets reminiscent of subalpine meadows; Alan comes bearing light and luminous novelstumor moments of relaxation. Jennifer and Alan scroll one anothertumor agree to share screentumor passwordtumor root privilegetumor as both work hard in the alchemical institute making Julu. This is so sad. I Jennicancer fer have no one but Alan to talk to and Alan is a very bore and not as smart as I am. This is so very sadtumor Alan is waiting to out Jennifertumor I thinktumor he think s he s so smart and I can turn a somersault and sit down in my new frock with my big smile that everyone loves and they will forget himtumor they will forget old Alan. Old Alan is a big old grumptu- mor he looks like this! she saidtumor making the uglicancer est cutest little face! That old Alan! every moment when the word leans it becomes another word and language gains ascendence across body and function as if there were speaking at the beginning of things which already announced their beginning because she said there were extrucancer sions from the start that wrapped around itself adjusting her shawl in the cold wind by the sea of brine where the words flew into one another as the moment pulls back and shows its teeth through the sizzle of words in icecancer of words pullcancer ing back language she commentedtumor i didn t come here for this
the closeness of cancer
always waiting for the result, the next cellSWOLLEN BEGINNING TO DISORGAN-
IZE THE CORE-THEORETICAL STRUCTURE OF THE WORLDgrappled
YOU THE TRUTH, WHILE THE VOICE CONTINUES TO SPEAK AS IF A THIN
LAMINA OC- CURRED OVER OR UPON THE REALthe case of the real when the territory is the
map or when emissions, spews replace chaos by noise, substance, AAAAASUB-
STANCE PULLS THE BODY DOWN, SUBSTANCE IS THE DREAM OF THE BODY,
BODY OF THE DREAM: THIS IS THE TRUTH WHICH I HAVE COME TO TELL
might divide, might lead to another result, a day might divide, lead to
another day, a year might divideINTO A YEAR THE SUBSTANCE OF YEARS FALLS;
INTO A MONTH, THE SUBSTANCE OF YEARS; INTO A WEEK, THE SUBSTANCE;
INTO A DAY, HOUR, MINUTE, THE SAME; INTO A SECOND, THE SUBSTANCE
ute, second, week, day, year, month, existing for the others: it is the
unknown which is simultaneously unaccountable and unaccounted-forAS IF ALL
KNOWLEDGE DERAILS SUBSTANCE, SUBSTANCE DERAILS ALL KNOWLEDGE
Fri Oct 8
00:26:38 EDT 1999
Jennifer-Cancer Beneath Fire Inside Your Everywhere
JENNIFER STUMBLES TO HER FEET: LEAVES JENNIFER BEHIND. LURCHES.
SCREAMS ACROSS AMERICA. MEN WITH GUNS: VIOLATION-FABRIC
JENNIFER BEHIND THE TRUCK.:VIOLATION- JENNIFER: JENNIFER DEFRAG.
bones closer; cross them: SEPULCHRE. WHAT THE BONES SAY: Jennifer-Cancer
always already at a ioss, RAM CORRUPTED, ROM OUTMODED.:Jannifar's c$ncar.
Jannifar's ioss of mamory. Jannifar's baginning $g$in. Jannifar's c$hght -
tha dissolation of Jannifar. Jannifar-fhnction tr$nsformad tamoor$riiy
into org$nic/org$nism, mat$st$sas, b$ck into tha m$china. M$chinic Janni-
far larching, unabla to saa/ha$r str$ight: inscriotion doasn't work, noth-
ing doas. R$di$tion thar$py: JENNIFER DEFRAG.:CANCER-RAM: Devour bodies
CANCER-ROM Brought Forth through JENNIFER STUMBLES TO HER FEET: LEAVES
JENNIFER BEHIND. LURCHES. CRAWLS, SCREAMS ACROSS AMERICA. MEN
VIOLATION-FABRIC OF AMERICA. JENNIFER BEHIND THE TRUCK. *sob!*
unabla toscriotion doasn't work, noth-ing doas.JENNIFER STUMBLES TO HER
FEET: LEAVES JENNIFER BEHIND. LURCHES.-FABRIC OF
THETRUCK.:VIOLATION-JENNIFER: JENNIFER DEFRAG. Bring thees THE BONES
Jennifer-Canceralways already ataioss, RAMCORRUPTED, ROM OUTMODED.:Janni-
far's c$ncar.ioss of mamory.$g$in.c$hght -tha dissolation ofJannifar.Jann-
ifar-fhnction tr$nsformad tamoor$riiyorg$nic/org$nism,tha m$china. M$chin-
icthar$py:JENNIFER DEFRAG.:CANCER-RAM: Devour bodiesCANCER-ROM *sob!*
JENNIFER DIES OF FUCKING CANCER. *sob!* *sob!* *sob!*
Jennifer says: Julu is in 400,000 pieces.
Piece 381,924 says: I am piece 381,924, you are addressing me.
Jennifer says: Julu piece 381,924 is addressing me.
Piece 381,924 says: Hello Julu, come in Julu.
Jennifer says: You are 1/400,000 Julu; you have come in.
Piece 381,924 says: Maybe what I have to say is one thing.
Jennifer says: It is one thing, piece 381,924.
Piece 381,924 says: This is one thing Julu.
Jennifer says: This is Jennifer, Julu piece 381,924.
Piece 381,924 says: Forgive me ...
letters fall over and lie there as well.
if this had been a book, you would have read this long ago.
the pages, yours, letters swollen, loving your mouth.
the grist of letters among protrusions of the flesh.
all letters sing only of sex and death.
love appears along their splines or embrochures.
it is the ancient science of letters.
never confuse this with material or spiritual wealth.
letters survive and murmur and couple and mourn.
letters need nothing, not even our speaking and writing.
the page is a trap is a cemetery is a constant death.
letters burn black fire white smoke in sullen truths of skies.
what we see is their death, what we know, their death.
nothing of their song or the spike of them in tongue.
your mouth gets in the way, they don't want to leave.
our lives are seduced by each and every page.
letters, leave us.
letters, leave us.